Reality

The damp night air carries

Church bells ringing in the distance

My past and present intermingle

I struggle with my luggage tagged “history”

Waiting for the next plane or train to leave

Believing I should board it

In blind faith –without a map

Yet I know,

It will leave without me

I will stay behind

Hoping

Hoping, for a just one interlude

With you…

Perhaps a stingy glass of wine

And cheese with the mold cut off

In the back of a dimly lit room

As the piano player plays the same tune

Over and over

You intrigue me

I hear your voice in the distance

And your footsteps

Along with the whistle

the last call for the train

My eyes search for you in the crowd

Yours do not seek me

I exhale long and deep

My body has betrayed me

I no longer have a clue how to seduce you

And hold you in my folds

For hours…. or days

Yes, days.

I forget I have aged

My sagging breasts

Round hips

Soft muscles

I despise them

I tell myself half-truths

And downright lies

Just two glasses of wine

And all will be perky and firm…

At least for an hour

I watch you out my window

The old man on the train

Tells me I should have stayed

Turned around

let fate play out….

Easy for him to say

He does not own hands

That long to hold a lover

Wrapped in my folds

For hours… or days

On this cold rainy night

Your Sacred Space

“Your sacred space is where you find yourself again and again.”
~Joseph Campbell

Today, my big events are behind me.........my "accidental activist" project was recently won........... it is time for me to find my scared art space and time, even if it means clawing my way into this area of my life. I have missed it and need to recharge.

Time is precious, make it count.

SLOW DANCE

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids,

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain,

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.


Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day,

On the fly?

When you ask "How are you?"

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,

Do you lie in your bed,

With the next hundred chores,

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die,

Cause you never had time,

To call and say,'Hi'?

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

All thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower.

Hear the music.

Before the song is over.

Life Coaches - GIve me a break!

I think I will scream if yet one more intelligent person I know tells me they have hired a life coach. Give me a break!

Who in their right, intelligent mind, hires someone from the internet who proclaims to be a life coach?

I have known at least 10 people who market themselves as life coaches - most are either very under-employed or unemployed, but feel they can direst someone else to success and some have "taken an online class" to give themselves credibility.

Not one of them has a life I'd like to emulate. The people hiring life coaches believe what they read on the internet. I urge them to find someone in their life or community who they respect and go talk to them, read books, network with those who have the skill sets they desire. Journal. Anything but turn their life over to an online "life coach" with an inflated ego who has no measurable success and all we really know about them is what they wrote about themselves. Give me names of real people they helped, with their before and after bios, their email and phone numbers. Give me names and numbers of people who know them well and those who only know of them. Show me their employment history, marital history, etc. It makes no sense to me that anyone would let a total stranger ONLINE be a life coach. I'd rather they buy a lottery ticket.

Twitter and the internet is filled with such people.

The subject of life coaches came up in a woman's discussion group last night... and most agreed with me - those who led full-rich lives mentor by example and spend time with people they know - they don't hang out on the internet waiting for some poor soul with bad body language, cash and low self-esteem.

Yes, I'd much rather they buy a lottery ticket - perhaps they'd win enough to hire a real profession, with a qualified degree and measurable success. Or, I'd like to have swamp land to sell them, at least they'd have a deed for their money.

Perhaps it's the weather

I am once again restless.
Often I find myself
staring out the window,
fixed on the hosta breaking through damp earth.
I welcome them like long lost friends.
How long has it been since I last looked at you?
Touched you?
Realized your beauty and strength?
You tolerate winter much better
than I do these days
and wait patiently until
it is your season

I push the envelope
realize with each passing year
that time is running short
regret the years I wasted
and the days that passed
without me noticing
even the slightest beauty
or grace.
I watch the robins
frantically gathering
twigs, straw, old string
already planning
to mate and go forward
I snip bits of colored yarn
and place it in my suet feeder
for them to gather
my contribution to spring
and new life
new love

Over a cup of coffee
a friend asks
"How many more springs
do you suppose we have?"
Sigh.
Like Emily Dickinson
I dwell in the possibilities
of what each arriving spring
may bring into my life
and what I leave behind
I refuse to focus on the end
before I have exhausted today.

Early Morning Walk

This morning I went for an early morning walk,

The air cool with thick misty fog

As dawn broke I desperately searched

For early signs of spring

To signal the end of winter

The air smelled of damp earth

But what I really craved

Was even the faintest scent

Of you

Lasting Relationships

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” -Anthony Robbins

Reflection

The whole moon and the entire sky are reflected
in one dewdrop on the grass. ~ Dogen

The Winner Is

I've learned that when you have an argument with your spouse, the first one who says, 'I'm sorry I hurt your feelings; please forgive me,' is the winner. ~unknown

Caution

Caution

Even now
having recently removed
the last long thorn from my flesh
the wound has scabbed over
but not healed
perhaps it never will
or maybe it is waiting...
patiently
like a spy in dark shadows
for me to acknowledge
it may have all been an illusion
disguised by candlelight
infused with wine
and twisted emotions

I catch my reflection
in the window
an older woman
stares back at me
where did the years go?
my youth passed all too soon
On the horizon
I see I see him staring back at me
standing in a now barren field
miles away, as always
out of reach
on the other side of the wall
that is his comfort zone


Experiences of the heart
transform or consume us
in unpredictable ways
I remember the fire
the intensity, the vivid colors
I also remember
crawling out of the ashes
after the flames died down
after the last ember
stopped smoldering

I see myself
as if viewing a stranger
half-frozen
speechless
unable to warn her
to stop
STOP
move away from the flame
or risk being consumed
once again

Butterflies

Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time. ~Deborah Chaskin

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. ~Richard Bach

The butterfly’s attractiveness derives not only from colors and symmetry: deeper motives contribute to it. We would not think them so beautiful if they did not fly, or if they flew straight and briskly like bees, or if they stung, or above all if they did not enact the perturbing mystery of metamorphosis: the latter assumes in our eyes the value of a badly decoded message, a symbol, a sign. ~ Primo Levi

"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." ~Trina Paulus

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." ~Maya Angelou

I Want To Die Living

Just like Leo.

"When asked what he wanted to be remembered for when his life was over Leo Buscaglia. replied: "I want to be remembered as somebody who lived life fully and with passion. I’ve been asked to write my epitaph and I have always thought that the perfect one for my tombstone would be, ‘Here lies Leo who died living.’"

I want to die living. And I want to be remembered as one who lived with purpose, joy and verve. I want to spend my time learning what goes into a whole and happy life, then building that life the best I can.

Sociologist Tony Campolo told about a study in which fifty people over the age of ninety were asked to reflect upon their lives. "If you had it to do over again," they were asked, "what would you do differently?" There was a multiplicity of answers, but three responses dominated. Here they are.

1. I would reflect more. Do you ever feel that too much time is spent in "doing," and not enough spent thinking about what you are doing and why you are doing it?
2. I would risk more. Do you think that important opportunities either have been or might be forfeited because of your fear to take a necessary risk?
3. I would do more things that would live on after I died. Do you feel that you are immersed in something bigger and more enduring than your own existence?

Reflect more * Risk more * Leave a legacy.

These are what our elders say they would do differently the second time around.
But why wait for a second time around? Every new day is a second chance!

Reflect more today—
it will reveal to you what is truly important.

Risk more today—
take a chance on making that dream come alive.

Get involved with something that makes a difference in this world—
and a beautiful legacy is what you will leave behind."

"My God" by M.K. Gandhi

It matters not what we call our heavenly Father, what matters is that we find our path to Him. Sadly, more have been killed in the name of organized religion than anything else.

I love this quote.....

From: “My God” by M.K. Gandhi

Religions are different roads converging to the same point. What does it matter that we take different roads, so long as we reach the same goal? In reality, there are as many religions as there are individuals.

All faiths are a gift of God, but partake of human imperfection as they pass through the medium of humanity. God-given religion is beyond all speech. Imperfect men put it into such language as they can command, and their words are interpreted by other men equally imperfect.

Whose interpretation must be held to be the right one? Every one is right from his own standpoint, but it is not impossible that every one is wrong. Hence the necessity for tolerance, which does not mean indifference towards one’s own faith, but a more intelligent and purer love for it.

Tolerance gives us spiritual insight, which is as far from fanaticism as the north pole is from the south. True knowledge of religion breaks down the barriers between faith and faith and gives rise to tolerance. Cultivation of tolerance for other faiths will impart to us a truer understanding of our own.

I have said I do not disbelieve in idol-worship. An idol does not excite any feeling of veneration in me. But I think that idol-worship is part of human nature. We hanker after symbolism.

I am both an idolater and an iconoclast in what I conceive to be the true senses of the terms. I value the spirit behind idol worship. It plays a most important part in the uplift of the human race. And I would like to possess the ability to defend with my life the thousands of holy temples which sanctify this land of ours.

I am an iconoclast in the sense that I break down the subtle form of idolatry in the shape of fanaticism that refuses to see any virtue in any other form of worshipping the Deity save one’s own. This form of idolatry is more deadly for being more fine and evasive than the tangible and gross form of worship that identifies the Deity with a little bit of a stone or a golden image.

Bitter experience has taught me that all temples are not houses of God. They can be habitations of the devil. These places of worship have no value unless the keeper is a good man of God. Temples,mosques, churches are what man makes them to be.

Touching Fire

Perhaps, in the autumn of my life
I will sit near a window
in the late afternoon sun
drinking tea from fine china
or cheap red wine
depending on my mood
and the weather
Perhaps I will sit
wrapped in an old blanket
watching trees
release their leaves
one by one
much like one deals with loss
in small increments
to soften the blow
Yes, perhaps then I will
reflect on him
tincture of time is a wonderful healer
so they tell me
only time will tell
perhaps then
emotions will not run high
I will no longer stop in my tracks
at odd hours with thoughts of him..
those eyes looking back at me
as only a lover can
Perhaps red wine will dull that ache
Perhaps I will no longer miss noisy sex
and will be able to eat raspberries
without the first thought of him
Perhaps on that autumn afternoon
after my third glass of wine
I will forget that I once
touched fire
felt the warmth and the burn
love changes everything
if you let it

Staying Safe - Great Advice

PUT YOUR CAR KEYS BESIDE YOUR BED AT NIGHT

Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.

This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this:

It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar rapist won't stick around... After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there ....

This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

This would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you can't reach a phone. My Mom has suggested to my Dad that he carry his car keys with him in case he falls outside and she doesn't hear him. He can activate the car alarm and then she'll know there's a problem. Please pass this on even IF you've read it before. It's a reminder and it might save your life.

Thankfully sunsets are out of the reach of human hands

Photo by Arka02

The sun, the moon and the stars would have disappeared long ago... had they happened to be within the reach of predatory human hands.
~ Henry Ellis

Following in Another's Footsteps

Photo by Bferrrg

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought. ~Basho

Life Moves

Wind moves through the trees
Somewhat gentler these days
As winter fades
Tender branches with buds
Signal new life
Energy
Occasionally I think of you
Life continues to move
Like a river
Waiting for nothing
You remain hidden
Whereabouts unknown
I drop crumbs along the way
Knowing the birds alone
Appreciate my efforts


(c)2009

Coupon Clipping Adds Up to BIG Savings!

Who ever thought I’d find such a wonderful resource for saving money and living frugally from a web site dedicated to donating money to charity?

I did just that.

I read a post from a woman who was sharing how she supports her favorite charity by clipping coupons every chance she has so she can still support the charities that are import to her.

Hotcouponworld is a web site for coupon clippers created by coupon clippers. These folks know their stuff! Not only do they clip coupons, some of them even share or exchange coupons. They also post WHO has items on sale to make the coupon an even better deal. I like that. Registration is free and they won’t sell your contact information. To register on HotCouponWorld.com click HERE.

If you would like to stay connected to them and get the deal alert news then I suggest you also join their newsletter, the Hot Flash newsletter. It’s free and simple to do and you’ll be connected to some of the best deals and frugal living advice on the web! Their newsletters are segmented by topic so you can sign up for one or all of them! To sign up for their newsletter CLICK HERE.

The general interest newsletter also has articles on every aspect of coupon shopping including handy tips on coupon organization, building a stockpile, using rain checks, buying in season, following the sales cycles, recipes, frugal living tips, freebies, and more.

If you are a CVS shopper, you’ll need to check out the only newsletter dedicated to CVS deals on the net. Get a weekly newsletter with matchups, adscans and more. They will also send alerts when there’s a sale or special preview outside of the regular weekly newsletter, so you will never miss a deal at CVS.

Interested in holiday, seasonal, and Black Friday deals? They also have a newsletter that will keep you connected to saving money through the seasons so you can give great gifts and save a fortune while you shop online.

There are even posts on the forum with a list of companies who send coupons – all you have to do is email them by clicking on the links they provide and you go directly to the companies web site to send an email! She suggests who write them and tell them how much you like their products, which are your favorite and why – as opposed to just saying “You make great products, send me some coupons”. She even gives you her form letter to modify -


"I just wanted to say how much we love your (insert product here.) Blah blah blah..we eat them or use it often etc. Blah blah blah...Is there a home mailer list we could be put on for future mailings? Or coupons you send to consumers that could be sent so we could buy more?"

Not the fanciest of emails, but once you do a few of them, you begin finding your own way of what the email should say. Usually your browser will auto-fill your contact information in, so contacting a company takes less than a minute… then just wait for them to appear in your mailbox or email. It’s that simple! (Don’t forget to thank the companies who send coupons – often you get more coupons sent your way!)

Do Not Crush Their Spirits

Words are more powerful than perhaps anyone suspects, and once deeply ingrained in a child's mind, they are not easily eradicated. - May Sarton

Zen Road

No road to happiness or sorrow... Find them in yourself

Triumph in the Garden

A Garden

is always a series of losses
set against a few triumphs, like life itself...
- May Sarton

The Artist

AuAutumn Rhythm (Number 30), 1950
Jackson Pollock (American, 1912–1956)

In his mind he is still the man
who worked in a mahogany paneled office
dined in the finest restaurants
and tangoed till 2 am
he served in the WWII
married his college sweetheart
was head of a company
and the life of a party
he is never without a tie
even now

He reads the Wall Street Journal
Time magazine
and large print books
the pages never turn
he once knew my first and middle name
now he calls me Lillian, Doris or the flavor of the day
he is always delighted to see me
his smile radiant
his hand shake as genuine as first love
his eyes never leave mine

He fears being yet another white haired man
with soft hands
sitting quietly in the long autumn sun
watching cloud formations drift by
as the wind secretly replays
love's last gasps in his ears
wondering where the years went
wishing he could die before an easel
or in the arms of a woman who loves him
wishing
even now, for a woman whose breasts sag
whose heart still beats loud
warm flesh against flesh
as familiar as his face against her cleavage
fast forward many years
his face against a cold window pane
fearing yet another winter
alone

in his room is a canvas
his last work in progress
he dabbles in oils
moves it around to catch shadows
and yet another sunset
as if it were his last
he says it is to let the sun in
the warmth
love
energy
all the things that his aging body
lacks

he hobbles a few steps away
both hands gripping his walker
his eyes fill with pride as he asks me
what I see in his painting
it matters not what I say
dementia makes every day new
the painting in progress has been
a million different things
a blackbird on a wooden fence at dusk
two boys and a frog at the water's edge
a sailboat at sunset
a baby in his mothers arms
Paris after the war
each time he is delighted
that I see it just as he does
that day

but each day
before I go
his long term memory returns
and with tearful eyes he tells me
he is painting it for the woman
with hair like mine
not too short or too long
a wonderful shade of red
like an autumn sky that melted
on her head
he knows she'll return
to see his painting
he points to the corner of his palette
a dried pile of "autumn" waits there
along with his eyes
his soft hands
his memory of a woman who loved him
when time stood still.

(c) 2007

Wee Hours Realization

Photo by Deannster on Flickr

Wee Hours Realization

We lie together naked

Under the new April moon

Spooning the way

True lovers do

His strong arms wrap around me

His cologne lingers on his skin

I breathe him in

Deep inside of me

And into my heart

I wondered if he knew

I was falling deeper in love with him

Safe within his arms

Peacefully drifting in time

I have no use for the morning sun

Life Goes On....

photo by jnm_ua/ on flickr

Life goes on ….

Three Septembers ago, I heard the fear in her voice. We sat in her backyard drinking coffee with the chiminea aglow, her face mostly in shadows except for the tears trickling down her cheeks.Her fear was not for herself, not for the days ahead when the beast would have its way with her, taking a breast was not enough, it would soon claim all of her.

She worried how he would get along without her, how he would handle the silence, shop for groceries, care for three children off in different directions, while juggling a demanding career, remember to keep doctor appointments etc.

Her voice lowered to a whisper. She told me she did something very right all those years ago, she married a wonderful man. When she was diagnosed, he was there, telling her it was their battle. When she was sick, he cared for her without her asking. When she cried, he held her and comforted her and not once did she have to ask, he was always there for her.

She looked at me with eyes that pleaded for answers.

“When I am gone, who will care for him? What if this happens to him, who will be there for him?”

She knew how essential his support had been in the early days, it was even more so now.

I wrapped a blanket around her and refilled her coffee as she looked up at the stars. A symphony of crickets filled the damp night air.She turned to look at me, pointing to the heavens.

“Do you see that really bright star over those old oak trees?”

I nodded, holding back tears, selfishly wondering what I was going to do without her.

She continued, “Right there, right there is where I want him to look for me. We’ve sat out here for 30 years and there’s always a bright star right over those trees. Me and the Oaks, that’s where I’ll be.”

Her voice trailed off, perhaps she was wondering how far away she’d be.

“He needs to remarry, you know. He’s a good man, some woman will be happy with him……..perhaps Diana would be a good fit for him? You know, I can see them together; they’d probably live in her home. Or maybe you should make sure he finds someone who loves to dance; I never liked it but he always loved dancing. You will need to keep your eye on him, to make sure he goes on.”

Three weeks later she slipped into a coma.

He called me to sit with him. When I arrived he was painting her toe nails, her pillow had recently been fluffed. He had her favorite candles burning and a photo of them on the nightstand. He held her hand so tenderly and told me that even then, with her bald head and emaciated body, he looked at her and saw a gorgeous woman who loved him with all she had every day and every night. My heart ached for them, for what they were losing....and especially for him.

They used to glance at each other across a room and everyone recognized the look. He looked at her the same way right up until the end.

She slipped quietly away the next day.

Last night I attended his wedding – alone.

He looked at his new bride and I once again recognized the look of love. At the reception she told me his my friend, his former wife, wrote a letter to "the woman he would marry after she was gone". She said it was the most touching, thoughtful letter, stained with her tears…… welcoming her into his life, the life she left behind.

She was quite a woman, that friend of mine.

I heard someone ask them if they’d be living in her house. She said, “No, we will live in his house, it has the most magnificent view of the night sky, right over the old oaks.”

I knew what that meant, more importantly, I knew what that meant to him.

How sweet, how wonderful, two people who truly love and understand each other.

We should all be so blessed. He found it twice, I’m still searching for once -perhaps someday.

Learners and Non-Learners

“I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures... I divide the world into the learners and non-learners.”
- Benjamin Barber

For those who are thirsty to learn - the universe provides a plethora of knowledge and sources. Sadly, many people peak in high school and decline from there.

I encountered this quote by Benjamin Barber on

Inspiring Words blog.... if you love quotes like I do, please visit this site.

Words to Live By - Tecumseh

Signing of the Treaty of Green Ville Painting- Darke County Historical Society

Howard Chandler Christy's Signing of the Treaty of Green Ville was created in 1945. The state of Ohio commissioned Christy (1873-1952), a nationally-known illustrator, to create the work for the 150th anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Greenville, which ended the Indian Wars in Ohio. The final version hangs in the Ohio Statehouse. This painting was a working copy that Christy would have painted in preparation for his final work.

Tecumseh never wanted to sell the land the Indians lived upon... he believed that land belonged to all tribes...........not just the Shawnees.

During the early 1800s, Tecumseh, a leader of the Shawnee Indians, attempted to unite Native American tribes west of the Appalachian Mountains into a confederation. Tecumseh believed that the land did not belong to a single tribe. In reality, no one owned the land except for the Master of Life, the Shawnees’ principal god. Tecumseh believed that the only way that Native Americans could transfer land to the Americans was if every tribe agreed to it. Tecumseh wanted to force the Americans to deal with all of the tribes in unison. Separately, the individual tribes did not have much power. Together, Tecumseh hoped, they would be a major deterrent to white expansion.

Tecumseh explained his views in a letter to William Henry Harrison in 1810:

. . .the only way to stop this evil [white settlement of the Indians’ land], is for all the red men to unite in claiming a common and equal right in the land as it was at first, and should be now—for it never was divided, but belongs to all. . . .Sell a country! Why not sell the air, the clouds and the great sea, as well as the earth? Did not the Great Spirit [Master of Life] make them all for the use of his children?

In his quest, Tecumseh received assistance from his younger brother Tenskwatawa. Known as the Prophet, Tenskwatawa believed that the natives had to end their reliance on American goods, such as alcohol, iron cookware, and guns. The Indians had angered the Master of Life by becoming dependent on these items. If the natives forsook them, the Master of Life would reward his followers by driving the Americans from their land. Many Indians found the Prophet’s message appealing and began to congregate at his village, Prophetstown, in the Indiana Territory.

Tecumseh used his brother’s influence to convince the natives to put aside their traditional differences and unite together against the whites. He also visited many tribes west of the Appalachian Mountains and east of the Mississippi River seeking additional support for his confederation.

Tecumseh was a firm believer that more people translated into more power. While most tribes listened to Tecumseh’s proposal, many rejected his ideas. This was especially true of Indians in modern-day Tennessee, Georgia, and Mississippi. Many of these people embraced white products and customs. They did not want to lose access to these goods. Tecumseh had more success in Ohio, Kentucky, and the Indiana Territory, areas that whites had been attempting to settle since before the French and Indian War.

Unfortunately for the natives, Tecumseh’s Confederacy failed. Many Indians refused to relinquish their white ways and end their friendships with the Americans. The whites also greatly outnumbered the Native Americans and had greater access to firearms and ammunition. As Tecumseh’s followers began to converge he also could not provide them with adequate food and shelter.

Ultimately, he was killed in war......... but his words live on:


So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.

Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.

Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.

Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.

Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place.

Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.

If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.

Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.
Tecumseh

Tell me YOUR Story

We are story tellers. Every one has one.... that story that is yours and yours alone.

The story that others may know or the one that is buried deep within your heart.

Start typing... if the corners of your lips turn up as you type, wonderful.

If you blink back tears as you type, keep typing.....type them away, down to the core of your own authentic story.

I'll listen.... listen with my ears, my heart and my soul.

Stories, and the people behind the story, matter.

Go ahead, tell your story.

You matter to me.

It's All About Love - AND Forgiveness!

All the information on this page is from the Fetzer web site

Please visit and support them!

"Launched in 2006, the Campaign for Love & Forgiveness uses PBS documentaries, community activities, online resources, and networking opportunities to encourage reflection and conversation about how love and forgiveness can effect meaningful change in individuals and society. Through community conversations, the campaign aims to create a meaningful national dialogue that will bring about positive changes for individuals, their relationships, and their communities."

"The Fetzer Institute, as part of its Campaign for Love & Forgiveness, supported the Religion Newswriters Association in the production of a comprehensive guide for journalists reporting on love and forgiveness. The guide features experts in the fields of science, medicine, politics, religion, and criminal justice who can explain how and why forgiveness and benevolent love are central to so many news stories (and why the lack of them could be the root of much of the violence and conflict that so often dominate the news). "

A Study in Blue

Blizzard winds howl

Snow and freezing rain

obscure my windows

darkness surrounds me

the first robin of spring

just returned

nowhere to be found

I wonder where she is

and if the homeless

have shelter

on this wicked night

as I mix fifty shades of

blue

some light and transparent

most dark

layered

and as intense

as people I attract

adding black to deepen

the shade

or suppress my thoughts

I recall the men in my life

most, no – all

wanted or needed something

from me

all but one

his only need was distance

the very thing that drove

us apart

I add more black

more green and yellow

and slather this

thick opaque shade

of midnight blue

over my heart

on a dismal winter night

~Aging Ever So Gracefully (c)2008

Lessons from the Garden of Life

Photo by 3Winc - click on photo to go to his Flickr area.


How fast the years pass.

As a young girl, the nuns always told us what we planted we grew and our harvest would be filled with weeds and thistles in rocky soil unless we changed our ways.

They threatened us.
Tried to control by fear.

It would take decades until I would hear that small still voice whisper to me that they had no clue how to prepare us for life.
They were so out of touch.
They were not gardeners tending to the fertile soil and the seedlings.
They did not lead by example.

Older and wiser, I now know that only when one is willing and ready to get their own hands dirty, immersed in the soil of life, can they really tend to it....and lead by example.

I love the following quote by May Sarton -may her kind and gentle soul rest in peace.

"True gardeners cannot bear a glove between the sure touch and the tender root,
Must let their hands grow knotted as they move with a rough sensitivity about under the earth,
between the rock and shoot, never to bruise or wound the hidden fruit.
And so I watched my mother's hands grow scarred,
She who could heal the wounded plant or friend with the same vulnerable yet rigorous love;
I minded once to see her beauty gnarled, but now her truth is given me to live,
As I learned for myself we must be hard to move among the tender with an open hand,
And, to stay sensitive up to the end, Pay with some toughness for a gentle world."

~May Sarton

Questions You Ask Yourself in Quiet Moments

Are you living the life you planned?
Or did the breeze take you places you never thought you'd go?
Where has it carried you?

I have often resisted change, even when I knew I was being pushed or lead in a different direction, one I had no desire to follow. I've dug my heels in over and over again only to realize that I was carried into that spot to be exactly where I was intended to be. Sometimes it takes years before I make the connection.

I believe there are no accidents.
I don't believe that the universe is random.
When paths cross, I listen. I wait.
Then, when I least expect it, I know why.
Sometimes it shows me that I went in the wrong direction, often it makes me adjust my sail.

Tell me about where the breeze took you.

What did you learn?

Living a Life of Simplicity

How Then, Shall We Live? by Wayne Muller - An Excerpt from the book

Spiritual writer Wayne Muller explores questions at the core of life's meaning. Here is a meditation to explore a life of simplicity.

"Arrange for some time to sit quietly in a place of refuge. Allow yourself to become calm and attentive, using the breath to settle yourself into your body and heart.

"Then, in a gentle way, review your current life. Bring to mind each of several areas, including your work, your relationships or family life, your finances, your leisure activities, your possessions, your goals, and your spiritual life. One by one, as each area comes to mind, ask yourself the following questions: What would it be like to simplify this part of my life? What could I let go easily? What could I do to make this part of my life more quiet and simple?

"Reflect on the choices that arise within you.

Notice which feel immediately comfortable and which feel difficult or frightening.

The object is not necessarily to change anything immediately.

In this moment you are simply noting where you desire more simplicity in your life and where this is possible.

How can you make room for this simplicity?

Take as much time as you need with each area of your life, becoming aware of what steps you might take.

Then make a resolution to make changes in each area."

Loving Them Through Their Struggles

Photo by BostonBill click here to go to his Flickr area

These days, I often find myself stopped in my own tracks, wondering how my youngest will make his, wanting the best for him but am so unsure of which direction to point him.

Mothers.

Fathers

Parents

It's not a job that ends when they graduate and go off to conquer the world. I've found that is often when they need us the most. Sometimes it is only for us to be still and listen to them speak the words, their fears, out loud for the first time.

As my youngest has just dropped out of college and is desperately searching for which path to follow, thoughts of him consume my quiet moments. I dearly love him. It's not that I want to remove this painful time from his life, we all have to learn that pain moves us out of that place in one way or another. It's that I want him to know, really know, that sometimes we are being lead in a new direction.... one we may not clearly see for years.

In my own life, my life mentor was also my professional mentor. I hated him the instant I met him. He knew me better than I knew myself. He saw me for what a was, his project, and knew he had a job to do and that he would emerge the victor from having transformed me. It was a rough time for me. He was intense and demanding. Somewhere in the process, I realized he was there to mold me and that I would leave that internship as a reflection of him.

I grew to love him, dearly love him. I grew more that year than I ever thought possible.... and miss him even today, 32 years later. Perhaps my son is being moved towards such an individual. One thing I know for certain, he will be that sort of individual for someone else some day. It's the journey that is uncertain. I will love him through these times.....and the good times.

This quote spoke to me......

"Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most; when they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain't through learning -- because that ain't the time at all. It's when he's at his lowest and can't believe in hisself 'cause the world done whipped him so. When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is."

~ From Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry

Direction

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading" ~ Lao-tze

There are so many days that I question my direction, my sons' direction. This world is not easy. Each night I pray that we may each find clarity in the stillness of the day and be wise enough to know when to adjust our journey, to chose a better way.

The Journey In and Out

Walking a labyrinth is such an emotional experience. My first experience was during my divorce. It was set up in the basement of an old church in the city. I arrived, having no clue what to expect. Soft music was playing in the background, the large room was lit only with candles. People were arriving randomly. The host smiled at me, pointed to the basket of clean footies, indicating that I should remove my shoes and wear them.

As I was putting the footies on, I knew I was in the presence of One much greater than myself.

I read the short pamphlet about how to walk a labyrinth than sat there for quite awhile, trying to get my emotions in check. Finally, I was ready. Just like in life, you walk your own path alone... often you encounter others on the same path but each of us have different experiences and different needs.

I found that going in, towards the center, was much more emotional, almost as if I had to force myself to keep one foot moving ahead...... much more emotional than going to confession.

Going in, I searched my soul for it's current, most urgent needs.... in the center, I sat quietly, humbly asking for forgiveness, answers and direction. I sat there a long time, until I felt the need to go, to return to the outside. I left the center a changed woman....

There are many different types of labyrinths, some are very simple, some very complex. Most labyrinths are walked......some are hand-held and can be traced. This one is on the computer..... you move the cursor yourself. Click here.

To find a labyrinth in your area, click here.

Timeless Advice on Raising Your Children -at any age

My sons are now young men, 22 and 24, finding their own path......and often it's a cobblestone path, not so easy to walk on but the same journey that many have taken for centuries. As a parent, especially a single parent, it's so hard not fix everything... to watch them make choices - even bad choices - under our watch.

All of us have walked our own ancient path... going where we feel we must, not where our elders have tried to lead us. Discovery is a large part of the journey and the growth. Mistakes are our best teachers and often come with high price tag - emotional, financial or spiritual.

I love this quote - ancient advice to a parent from The Parent's Tao Te Ching -

Live your own life,

with all your heart, with all your mind,
and with all your soul.
There is no need to live theirs.
They will do that wonderfully by themselves.

Parental Advice from "The Parent's Tao Te Ching"

The Parent's Tao Te Ching." - I found this through another blog, I have this book and had forgotten it. I am grateful to have my memory jogged and want to introduce it to you or jog your memory. Although it refers to parents in the title, this wonderful book is great advice for many relationships... .and even for adult children.

As I post this, my 22-year old son is desperately trying to find his path in life. He has a few years of college under his belt and no direction for a major. He is taking a break, considering spending a year in service to others or as a volunteer, rather than continue to accumulate debt in a major he has no interest in.

As a parent, it is so easy to watch your kids excel, so hard to see them unhappy or fail in sports, a project, a relationship etc. I believe we all try hard to give them good advise so they won't have to go through the lessons we learned the hard way. In the end, I think they, like we, have to have those experiences to really learn those lessons.

As I've grown older and wiser, I've really tried to learn lessons from reading and listening to others.

One lesson I took to heart came from a one-time blind date. No chemistry but as a person, he was delightful. He told me that as a divorced mother I had to STOP trying to fix my sons' lives, stop giving them rules that they would break.

He told me to empower them to make wise choices - to let them fail under my watch while I was still able to guide them towards the "fix", not do it for them.

"Let them grow to be a man, under your watch.... let them fail while you can guide them back on course. If you don't do this, the world will beat them up, one sucker punch than two, and they will have no knowledge of how to get back in the fight."

I listened.

I absorbed.

I often remind myself how important the final years of being "under my watch" are.

Still it is hard. I love them dearly. I remember how hard those same lessons were in my life and relive them silently and painfully as they go through them.

The pleasure of being a mother never ends, nor do the heartaches.

From the book, "The Parent's Tao Te Ching."

The child you see today
will not be here tomorrow.

The child arriving home from school,
is different from the one who left home
this morning.

Every moment is a death of all that
has gone before, and a birth of all that is to come.

You must jump into the river and let it carry you
on its journey. If you stop it you will drown.

Life's experiences shape us everyday. Think about all the new things you learn and the experiences that change your life. Now, imagine being a child! They are so "moldable" - every day so many things and experiences are new.

I've always been told wise parents step back and let life happen, not try to remove them from those experiences........and are always ready when needed - knowing when to be delicate, strong and flexible.

Where Did the Years Go?

Of all the options for what one can do with their life.........my first and favorite choice was to be a Mother. That alone was enough.

I was blessed with two beautiful, darling, healthy, happy sons.

As I find myself, gray at the temples, with new wrinkles and age spots appearing, it is not these rites of passage that age me... it is those quiet moments, late at night, when I close my eyes and remember like it was yesterday, days of being "Mommy".

In the blink of an eye, the years passed. Just like that. In the blink of an eye.
Had I been wiser, I would have cherished each day more.........each special look, each hug, each kiss.

When I was a little girl, back in 1959, 1960... this was a commercial for Kodak film. I loved it. I would put on a dress and twirl for my Daddy and he'd sing it for me... until I was dizzy.

I still love, love, love, this song.... and it instantly brings tears to my eyes.... where did the years go? Oh, what I'd give to step back in time. I hear this song and I not only see my own life pass before my eyes, but my sons'.

Click here to watch the video, the lyrics are below. Harry Belafonte sang it.

Turn Around


Where are you going, my little one, little one,
Where are you going, my baby, my own?
Turn around and you're two,
Turn around and you're four,
Turn around and you're a young girl going out of my door.
Turn around, turn around,
Turn around and you're a young girl going out of my door.

Where are you going, my little one, little one,
Little dirndls and petticoats, where have you gone?2
Turn around and you're tiny,
Turn around and you're grown,
Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of your own.
Turn around, turn around,
Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of your own