Caution

Caution

Even now
having recently removed
the last long thorn from my flesh
the wound has scabbed over
but not healed
perhaps it never will
or maybe it is waiting...
patiently
like a spy in dark shadows
for me to acknowledge
it may have all been an illusion
disguised by candlelight
infused with wine
and twisted emotions

I catch my reflection
in the window
an older woman
stares back at me
where did the years go?
my youth passed all too soon
On the horizon
I see I see him staring back at me
standing in a now barren field
miles away, as always
out of reach
on the other side of the wall
that is his comfort zone


Experiences of the heart
transform or consume us
in unpredictable ways
I remember the fire
the intensity, the vivid colors
I also remember
crawling out of the ashes
after the flames died down
after the last ember
stopped smoldering

I see myself
as if viewing a stranger
half-frozen
speechless
unable to warn her
to stop
STOP
move away from the flame
or risk being consumed
once again

Touching Fire

Perhaps, in the autumn of my life
I will sit near a window
in the late afternoon sun
drinking tea from fine china
or cheap red wine
depending on my mood
and the weather
Perhaps I will sit
wrapped in an old blanket
watching trees
release their leaves
one by one
much like one deals with loss
in small increments
to soften the blow
Yes, perhaps then I will
reflect on him
tincture of time is a wonderful healer
so they tell me
only time will tell
perhaps then
emotions will not run high
I will no longer stop in my tracks
at odd hours with thoughts of him..
those eyes looking back at me
as only a lover can
Perhaps red wine will dull that ache
Perhaps I will no longer miss noisy sex
and will be able to eat raspberries
without the first thought of him
Perhaps on that autumn afternoon
after my third glass of wine
I will forget that I once
touched fire
felt the warmth and the burn
love changes everything
if you let it